Come Dine with Me

Good God! When you watch Come Dine with Me on tv doesn't it make you sick when someone serves up a lovely looking dinner to some snotty nosed old fart only for them to say something like,
"Did you make your own gravy?" with a sneer.
Who cares?! Does it taste good? and what I mean by that is, Does it taste good? not, Can you enjoy this meal without making an analysis of every single item on the plate?
I was discussing this during a family meal and came up with the following menu for if I ever felt insane enough to go on the show...

I would endeavor to be the last person to host a dinner party on the show and would sit with a smug look on my face. Of course I wouldn't be winning the £1000 prize but I would have had four nights of lovely meals at the others expense. Ah lovely!